Our jobs are certainly important in our lives, not only because they represent economic support but also because professional fulfillment is one of the 4 feet on which our mental stability rests. In most cases, we will spend more awake time in our business (at least Monday to Friday) outside of it, with our partner or family and therefore we all want to achieve a working relationship. health in which we feel energized, valued and accomplished.
Maintaining a healthy working (or romantic) marriage is a complicated matter since both parties must put something in their side, worth the dismissal, that the other values enough to want more for longer.
Although sentimental ties should be built on equality of position (although unfortunately this is not always the case), professional relationships tend by nature to have one person wanting more than another. Normally, it is the employee who feels most attached to staying with the company, because jobs certainly have a great incentive to extend the relationship month after month (what we call salary). But this is not always the case or not at all times, and the employee also has the power to decide whether this (professional) relationship remunerates him, and can cause significant damage to the development of the company.
In my experience, I distinguish different stages in this “love of mutual convenience” which we call “work”. From the point of view of the employee (important detail since from the point of view of the company it can be others) these phases generally have variable durations but generally they are and last as follows:
First months – 1st year. Infatuation phase: I guess we all start out with the maximum professional illusion before a new job opportunity. This phase in which we discover things, in addition to the salary, that the company is able to offer us, of the tangible (additional benefits, the environment itself, the team with which we interact, etc.) to the intangible (responsibility, feeling fulfilled and recognized with your activity, etc.). It’s a stage where both parties show the best side of themselves and, in general, are more likely to forgive or ignore certain mistakes or inconveniences.
2nd year. First phase of attachment: Now that the employee and the company know each other in detail, it probably makes more sense (in terms of profitability) that your relationship will have. During this stage, we begin to function with ease and efficiency and are already clear about the overall terms of our relationship, which leads to a stage of relative calm and happiness in which both company and employee are clear. on the needs that we want to meet while keeping the other side by side and, except for occasional discussions, the period passes normally.
3rd-4th year. Crisis or conflict phase: The first doubts in the relationship begin to appear. Is this what I want to do throughout my professional life? Do they reward me based on the value of my performance, the effort I put in, or my level of involvement? These questions, together with a certain degree of contamination by the repetition of the same problems and the amplifying effect of an environment potentially filled with other dissatisfactions, bring the relationship into a continuous questioning which leads us to ask ourselves seriously whether such is the relationship we want or not we deserve. This is a crucial phase because here the road can fork and the future of the relationship is conditioned by the decisions of this moment on both sides.
In general, 3 alternative paths can be opened (always from the employee’s point of view):
- The company is capable of redirecting the crisis situation by proposing progress in the relationship with the employee which rekindles the spark of illusion. Normally, this only solves the problem if the stage occurs before or at the very beginning of the employee’s existential crisis. If this temporary boundary is slightly crossed, the solution will be only momentary, and soon a new conflict will appear (or even the same one aggravated). In this case, we’ve entered a hard-to-recover employee burnout in my opinion and the best favor you can do for both of you is to fly free into new relationships ASAP.
- The employee is looking for a new (working) relationship that better meets or corresponds to their economic or professional development expectations or, if the conflict is significant enough, ends the relationship even without an alternative (be careful, this can also come from company through dismissal, although here we are still talking from the employee’s point of view). It is a stage of great frustration for the employee because he does not see his aspirations realized internally and in which, therefore, his profitability is greatly reduced until he finds a new relationship that knows how to offer the love he thinks he deserves.
- Both parties “conform”; that is, they are aware that the game is about supporting each other in exchange for the benefits each brings. It will be a brief stage that will depend on the ambition of the employee and its resilience to pursue the stage together with the hope of entering a new phase or a costumbrarse that this is the relationship that you have to take on during a determined labor stage, including , for all time.
At this point, I have to say that in my experience, these 3 stages of falling in love, attachment, and crisis are cyclical. If you skip jobs, they have a roughly similar duration. If you stay in the same, you will likely go through them on a recurring basis with greater temporal frequency over the duration of your relationship.
If the company is able to carefully offer you a breakthrough in your relationship at the right time and you both grow, chances are you will reach the last and idyllic phase:
From the 4th year: Deep phase of attachment and bond: When the most important moments of building a relationship have been overcome, including the sharing of successes and failures, the awareness of a possible future as an artistic (professional) couple is created. It is true that monotony appears but also a stability frozen in transparency and mutual knowledge that can forever consolidate a beautiful professional relationship.
And you, do you believe in the “professional” love of life?